Diplo – Suicidal (Feat. Desiigner) (Official Music Video)
Diplo’s California EP launches him back onto the music scene, touting features from a variety of artists including Desiigner, Trippie Redd, Yatchy, and more. Today I’ll be specifically focusing on track number 2, Suicidal featuring Desiigner. When approaching a song featuring Desiigner I normally expect some sort high tempo club hit similar to Panda but to my dismay I found myself feeling a wave of emotions as Desiigner’s voice and Diplo’s instrumental cast me out to the rhythmic sea.
Almost instantly the beat lull’s the listener into a trance, paving the road for the trip ahead when suddenly, Desiigner’s voice emit’s from your speakers. Diplo’s craftsmanship is highlighted throughout this piece as the beat perfectly resembles the feeling of driving by street lamps at night, passing each one without much thought or consideration but suddenly they all amount up to something. Have you reached your destination or have you only just begun?
Desiigner paints a picture of despair throughout the song, kicking off the hook with “falling off, I’m falling in buildings, I’m falling in billions,” which may seem abstract and out of place at the beginning but will later be revealed to be a core part of the song. The hook continues with this idea, Desiigner continues to fall and doesn’t know why while the beat continues to numb your mind.
Finally in verse one Desiigner reveals that he may be in fact, the one falling. The ledge may be a figurative one but you can sense the desperation in his lyrics, unable to remain on the ledge any longer. This may be a play on Desiigner’s instant jump in stardom after his song Panda took over the charts. His hype skyrocketed and so did his fans expectations along with his own. With 706,266,341 plays on Spotify, Desiigner is feeling as though he is a zombie in his own life, “Life of Desiigner zombie walking, and I’m walking off,” perhaps Desiigner is feeling similar to a zombie because of the uncertainty that is the core of the music industry. One day your top single could be heard around the world while your next song is a fluke as there’s no way to be able to predict the popularity of the songs Desiigner is creating. He feels as though he is not in control of his own life, that some zombie-esque consciousness is leading him on and he isn’t sure how or why.
At 20 years old Desiigner is finding himself knee deep in cash and life experiences that others only could dream of experiencing. He’s merely a “young nigga behind the mic and I’m talking off,” unbeknownst to him is the recipe for success that the youth are in search of, some magical formula that will lead them to happiness. He’s proclaiming that he shouldn’t be feeling the way he is because of the success he’s found but he continues to do the unthinkable and continues to “fall in buildings” even though he should be sure of himself along with his talent that landed Desiigner his fame. When considering the line “fall in buildings, fall in billions,” Desiigner could be alluding to the sense of falling his way through life without any sort of control, just a consistent speed in a single direction. Desiigner could be questioning his future as he coasts into stardom, asking what’s next? Is it billions or is uncertainty?
Continuing onto the chorus the audiences finds Desiigner diving deep into the nihilistic society we are developing to be. He abstractly touches on the problems the world is facing, one subject to another, “thinking of the killing,hating, drilling,” never spending long deciphering one idea but alluding to the idea that our world moves on from one tragedy to another without much consideration. September 11, 2001 marked the birth of the 24 hour newscast and suddenly society found themselves the target of a barrage of messages that never ceased. The rampant innovation of technology provided the world with many wonderful things but also provided a personal look into a world that seems to be filled with gloom. Desiigner then suggests the outcome of such a world and states that “see they suicidal.”
Desiigner kicks off verse two with the idea that we are all more alike than we think in this world. That each and everyone of us is in search of something greater, something that would fulfill our desires while remaining true to ourselves. Trying to navigate the figurative “building” he’s describing without losing a part of ourselves due to the nature of our world/society. Desiigner then delves into the ideologies of success, money, fame, and crazy nights. He’s attempting to determine what is important to Desiigner and not the societal expectations set by those around him. Desiigner is introspectively rummaging through his own life,
evaluating what’s important to him. He’s excited to live his “long life” because of all the “ill” events along the way that will define not only who he is as an artist but also an individual. Is the destination more exciting than the journey? Desiigner brings to question his feelings towards his wealth as he states “I get the money, I’m going crazy.” Perhaps Desiigner’s life hasn’t turned out to be what he had once imagined and he is just trying to work through this crazy thing called life.
Desiigner is who he is because of the “long night, hard night,” but now he asks who will he become as he develops into an artist? Will his career be as uncertain as the world we live in? The next nine stanzas are a monologue as Desiigner gives the audience a glimpse into his thought process.
Desiigner is building himself up, examining his past success in an attempt to move forward with his life, and to remember that he “know(s) I’m the realest,” because of what he’s been through and where he is going. Desiigner is attempting to “stay focused” in our crazy world (i.e. building) while remaining confident in his skills and work ethic. Desiigner describes the feeling of chasing after a dream and how he “could feel it, run hard, I could hear it, run hard I could steer it” and eventually he arrived, but to his astonishment he “can’t feel nothing, just feel the spirit.” Ending with a social commentary, Desiigner illustrates the feeling of what you do when you “feel nothing,” you adhere to society and you,
Go hard or go home baby,
get rich and get home crazy,
live fast and live long, Maybe.
Thank you for taking the time to read my take on Diplo’s song Suicidal. This is merely my interpretation of this song and, as with any piece of media, may be read into differently depending on the audience. If anyone has a connection with Desiigner, please let me know so I can find out for sure. Leave your thoughts on the song in the comments along with any questions you have for me!