The Tale of Three Xbox One Elite Controllers in 2018

Tag along as I describe my year of gaming and the tragic destruction of my controllers along the way.

2018 has been a tremendous year for my personal gaming experience but the same could not be said about my Xbox One Elite Controllers. My arsenal of Xbox accessories felt the wear and tear of 2018 as I find myself within the top 1% of time played throughout the year. My original controller fought the good fight and lasted almost three years of grueling Rainbow Six Siege action, finally giving out after the right bumper disconnected upon endless torment from placing gadgets in R6.

With worn down joysticks I soon found myself baffled by the fact that I could not purchase additional official Microsoft Elite Controller joysticks to replace those that I had worn down. After exhausting every evident option available to me I then found myself on the interwebs looking for the best deal on a new Elite Controller. Looking towards my normal retailer, Best Buy, I was quickly disappointed as the availability for the Xbox accessory was out of stock.

What ensued next was a tragedy any gamer has to face more than he/she would like to. I was forced to leave to safety of my home as I embarked on the perilous journey to a brick and mortar retailer. After only “one more match” of Fifa 18 (that I lost) and only “one more” episode of Homeland, I sought out the keys to my car and with the turn of the ignition I was on my way.

I eventually found myself at a mirage of goods under an overwhelmingly number of iridescent bulbs, possibly illuminating the store all too well. I am of course referring to my local Walmart. (Because I refuse to shop at Gamestop) I made my way past the endless number of useless products found inside most retailers, except for the makers of course, and suddenly I was overcome by hunger. Before I knew it I was in front of the holy grail of overpriced used video games, the thought of sustenance to fulfill my hunger immediately left my mind. Worried that I had stepped into the same wormhole as Mikkel in DarkI place my hand upon the glass protecting the last Elite Controller in the store. A magical Walmart employee appears in an act of teleportation and provides me with the controller, asking me to please complete the transaction with him. Frolicking past the labyrinth of aisles I make my way towards the exit doors, prize in hand; my mind blocks out all that is around me and considers all that I will achieve with this glorious controller.

The sounds of Future’s Use Me fills my Honda Accord as I weave in and out of traffic on the way to my home. Upon the remembrance of real life obligations, I quickly attach my new controller to my Xbox One X and boot up Hulu. Without much consideration, the sound of Hulu cycling through the menu ceases and I’ve landed upon the movie Jeff, Who Lives at Home.

I continue to witness Jeff’s life at home while I attempt to gain a foothold on life’s many obligations. The movie’s twists and turns intrigue me to discontinue what I’m doing and take a more passive approach with a session of Hearthstone while I finish the movie. Turning to grab a drink from my desk I knock my controller off of my desk and onto the ground; sending every attachable accessory flying all over my floor.

    This action is a visual representation of playing a few matches of Rainbow Six Siege. Each individual round turns the most mundane tasks into precise activities required to win a match. It only takes one cog to break the machine, the same applies to teammates in Rainbow Six Siege. Often times you will find your teammates implementing their own personal strategy into your matches which, unbeknownst to them, will be detrimental to your team. Along the way you are prompted to place your gadgets by using the right bumper, placing heavy importance on the button. After performing a grueling 729 hours of Rainbow Six Siege I am somewhat surprised that I only went through two controllers during the year, mainly caused by a broken right bumper. Putting down those three Frost Mats was truly a burden on my controller but damn it felt good to hear that snap of the trap upon an enemies leg. Similar to the snap of the Frost Mat, my RB button randomly snapped off of the controller and surrendered to my ruthless gaming. Microsoft’s lovely support provided me with a new controller which did get the job done for some time before I found another problem. The replacement controller worked almost perfectly except the grips of the controller were peeling off. Safe to say the best way to preserve your controllers is to watch Netflix instead.

2018 held some incredible gaming moments and I hope 2019 can follow up with some more excitement. Although I may never conquer the number of hours that I played R6 this year, I am excited to witness the game evolve throughout the new seasons. What was your experience gaming in 2018?

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